I Don't Speak the Monkey Language...I Just Hear It

...and speaking of monkeys, the red-assed ones referred to below are Sulawesian Macaques or "punk apes" because of their mohican hairstyles.

I wasn't kidding about the red-asses either...



Apparently a swollen red ass signals sexual attraction to primates. If you don't find the picture above titillating, you may not be a primate.

The Colobus monkeys on the other hand, are the Pokemons of the animal kingdom. They are precisely engineered to evoke the maximum "ahhhhhh" response in their human cousins. This probably evolved as a strategy that would ensure their removal from the wild where dangers to life, limb and tail are legion...and their deposition in a zoo environment where there is plenty of access to sex and food (which, let's face it...is all anybody really wants) and keepers to attend to their every need. Because of this, zoos can now be considered their natural habitat.




...admit it. You went "ahhhhhhh". You should do a google image search on these guys. It's scary how cute they are. It's what you'd get if the Japanese designed a monkey whereas the Macaques are more what you'd get if Larry Flynt designed a monkey.

Our trip to the zoo led us to formulate an axiom regarding modern living, namely..."any day in which you get to see a monkey, is by definition, a good day".

It should also be pointed out that monkey is possibly one of the funniest words in the English lanuage. Any sentence, even a serious one, can be made funnier just by mentioning monkeys.